You just found out your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, signifcant other, domestic partner has lost their parent, their grandparent or a sibling. You’re standing on the sidelines and wondering–what’s my role here while my partner is suffering? How do I help them with their grief? How do I help? In particular, you may not have known the deceased very well and may feel somewhat awkward about how to heal your partner’s wounds.
Today I’m going to offer you some methods and attitudes that will help you to help your loved one through this difficult transition of overwhelming grieving.
Sometimes, after we lose a loved one, we must consider what to do with their electronic, digital identities and digital memories online. Do we want to be reminded regularly by our social media accounts that our deceased loved one is one of our friends?
Here are methods for saving, memorializing or deleting your loved one’s account after their death.
Should a Woman Seek a Male or Female Psychotherapist?
Should a Woman see a female or a male therapist?
One of the initial decisions she must make is choosing the gender of her therapist. There are potential advantages and disadvantages to either choice. It’s important to remember that each psychotherapist and patient are different. There is no gender difference assignment written in stone. This list, by its very nature, is overly general and speaks to potential, not necessarily actual advantages or disadvantages.
What happens when you and your spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend doesnt have the same attitude towards planning goals and personal responsibility that you do? How can you cope when you both have different timelines for goal achievement and seem to have different value systems? Read more and find out what you can do to improve the situation!
WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOUR SEX/LOVE VALUES ARE?
One way to do this is to ask, ‘if your lover(s) were to talk about you as a lover, what would be the qualities you would want them to say you had?’ There’s no defined limit on the qualities that YOU may wish to have in your behavior but let’s look at a few that MIGHT come up:
How do you want to treat yourself?
The World around you?
What are the QUALITIES you want to embody?
What sort of person do you want to be? What kind of father, son, mate, husband, wife, daughter, mother, co-worker, supervisor do you want to be?
What do you want to stand for in life? Model for yourself and others?
VALUES are your COMPASS for how you want to show up in the world.
Want to know more? Read on!
What is the difference between a fear and a phobia?
How does having a phobia affect a person?
What are some signs of a phobia?
How can phobias be treated?
For this and more, read on!
Hopelessness feels like whatever is happening in your life that is negative, whatever unfortunate circumstances you’ve suffered or are suffering, will never end. Hopelessness feels like a ‘bad trip’ on drugs–time seems to stand still, this moment feels like forever, and you’re unable to see any light, of hope, in the darkness. It feels like defeat; like you are in a game that you can never win and are predestined to lose. It can feel like a curse or a fate.
Circumstances, People, Places, and Things do not cause hopelessness. Hopelessness is a mental construct. And that construct can be deconstructed and RE-constructed to achieve happiness.
In my over 25 years as a psychotherapist and life coach, I’ve discovered that quite often, individuals will have lovely, articulate, accurate, empathic advice for their friends. They show compassion, forgiveness, faith, hope and rationality when guiding or counseling their friends.
However, I noticed those same individuals treating themselves far, far differently. Often these same people will turn on themselves in the most vicious, uncompromising manner. They have an ongoing internal (and sometimes, external) dialogue which is unforgiving, innacurate, overgeneralizing, negative, doomsaying, hopeless and irrational.
I also realized that when they looked at their lives from the ‘Best Friend’ position, they were able to see themselves differently.
And that’s what I’m hoping the Rational Animal Blog will be able to do for you as well.
Beause, let’s face it. You are all you’ve got.